A story twist...

We live our lives lead by fear, motivated by love, encouraged by hope, or a combination of these, and if you can’t defeat fear you make it your friend, and what a strong ally that would make.

I’m a strong advocate for freedom, freedom of fear, of sin, of impairing self-consciousness… also freedom to love unconditionally, under all forms: patiently, purposefully, decisively, firmly and kindly, lavishly and enthusiastically.

I’ve been so tired lately because of work or sleep deprivation, and that allowed my subconscious to be more awake, and I have all these ideas flowing out of me … and I simply can’t shut up.

What do we fear these days? We fear that we won’t find true love, that we won’t succeed in our careers, that we’ll grow old and hopeless, that we won’t be able to pay our rent next month, that everybody will discover that we are not who we pretend to be, that someone will break into our car tonight (I hate that!), that we will never see our family again, that our lives will be a waste… yes, we fear pain in all forms.
And yet, we keep going, day in and day out, trying to make the best of our lives… or maybe we don’t even try.

…as I wrote this yesterday I found out that the project I was hired for got cancelled, and it turns out that I don’t fit on the Q4 budget.  I got very encouraging reviews and feedback… but the reality of the numbers is a different story.
Conrad and I were planning to go to Romania this winter, but we didn’t know how this idea will take shape. Now things became clear but not simple.

What is about a job that we get so attached to? Besides the financial security, we become defined by the yearly wage, we literally wear a price tag, and we wear it with pride, we develop this love-hate relationship with the daily routine, and it’s a topic of conversation… It keeps our mind engaged, it puts us in random social circles and it challenges us to overcome our cluelessness in regards to what is going on in this world.

I believe that having and keeping a job is the responsible thing to do. And I personally love to work. I like to discover and pursue what I enjoy in the situation I’m currently in. I love the challenges, I love discovering new people, I love to dream and live my dreams.

I don’t know what comes next, but let’s live and love and dream, be courageous and rest in God.